To make sure we weren’t looking at a translation issue, I did a quick Google search and found this site: http://bible.cc/john/20-23.htm. There are over a dozen translations but they are all either the same or very close. So, we seem to have an issue with interpretation only, not translation.

To me, the most obvious interpretation of the passage “"Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained." “ is basically “I hereby give you the authority to forgive sins”. If you want to be more precise, it means that Jesus gave the apostles the authority to mete out the forgiveness that Jesus bought via the cross to those who repent and seek it. To give any other interpretation requires a more complicated and obtuse explanation – such as the one you gave. But, the Word of God is for everyone, not just those who possess a superior intellect with the capacity to extract these more complex interpretations. Why would God deny the less intellectually adept and children access to His Word?

How can you accurately quote Jesus ("Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.") and then deny the quote? Jesus says that anyone whose sins are forgive b y them (YOU forgive) are forgiven and those sins they do not forgive (YOU retain) are not forgiven. In the Catholic Church, we believe that while Jesus died for our sins, we are not automatically forgiven. Jesus made the forgiveness available to us but we have to 1) acknowledge our sin, 2) repent of it and 3) seek forgiveness. If I kill someone and I think “Wow, that was fun!! I think I will do it again!!!”, I will not receive forgiveness. OTOH, if I repent and seek God’s forgiveness for killing someone, that forgiveness will be granted.