I encourage you to take a minute and read chapter Judges 11, I think it will help you today. Jephthah didn't hold any grudges, let the past manipulate him or the mistreatment of his own people hinder his future. He acknowledged it, accepted their invitation, affirmed they were in this together and acted on behalf of his nation. No pity parties, no grudges, no hurt feelings but a refined purpose, position and priority placed Jephthah is a great place to effectively lead others.
Such good lessons... Judges is so rich, insightful and very practical.