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Dr. Curt Lamansky | Sheboygan, Wisconsin
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Immanuel Bible Church
2428 Superior
Sheboygan, WI 53081
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Counsel for Courting Couples - Part 2
MONDAY, AUGUST 17, 2009
Posted by: Immanuel Bible Church | more..
11,220+ views | 290+ clicks
1) Show yourselves to be an example to other believers.(see previous blog)
2) Compare your relationship to only one other.

It is customary for us as depraved humans to compare ourselves with others. Certainly we learn from observing others, but unfortunately instead of this leading to sound judgment, comparison tends to cloud our judgment, fuel the pride and envy that gave its birth, as well as produce a critical spirit within us. Avoid comparing yourselves with each other. This will not produce anything good and healthy. The false teachers in Corinth were guilty of comparing themselves to others: ...but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding (2 Corinthians 10:12). Naturally, to the enjoyment of our pride, comparison stems from exalting ourselves above others and reveals our immaturity, lack of wisdom, and lack of understanding.

However, there is another facet to comparison that you need to be cautious of as well. That is, being influenced, or even pressured, by the comparisons that other people will make. Regrettably, there will always be people in your life who feel they know every detail of God's will for you and will have no qualms to tell you that, who will compare you to others or themselves, and who will serve as self-appointed critics, judges, and advisors of everything you do. Most of the time they do this out of a genuine desire to be helpful, but sometimes it is merely because they enjoy bossing other people around. When others make comparisons just smile and keep your mouths shut. Then, after learning what you can from them, take their comparisons and expectations and, metaphorically speaking, graciously trash them.

Now, obviously, if a spiritually mature believer whom you respect comes alongside and gently corrects or admonishes you, take note of that. Don't be stubborn and resistant to instruction, like the fool in the book of Proverbs. However, believe me, as a pastor I know it is very easy to fall into the trap of living by other people's expectations. Choose now to humbly listen to others and learn from the counsel of the wise, but to live only by the Lord's expectations.

There is only one relationship that you should compare yours to-the relationship of Christ to His bride, the church. Certainly we can and should learn from others. But in the end it is the love of God alone that is our standard.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma (Ephesians 5:1-2).

Category:  Biblical Counseling

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