The decision to resign was a very difficult one to make, but I have come to it with a sense of constraint after prayer, consideration and deliberation with those closest to me. The last two years have been the toughest of my life. Though there were precious seasons of refreshing during the lockdowns there have also been tremendous disappointments. There were times and of great spiritual blessings and many reasons for rejoicing, but it was time also marked by betrayal and grief: betrayal by a presbytery I once trusted and grief at the loss of a congregation and some close friends. I have felt the toll of this both physically and emotionally, and I have decided I need to take some time away from pastoral ministry.

My hope is that this time will be something like the season Elijah had "by the brook Cherith." My desire for this time is that I may be like Enoch and walk with God. I have no other ambition.

I know that some may be seize this news as vindication. Others may write to suggest this is God's judgment on me. I have received such notes before. "But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself."

I know this: looking back on the events of 2020 and 2021 I would change nothing except (as I have written before) that I wish I might have been more careful in my blog writing to express my love for those on the other side. My decisions and my ministry through that period have been heavily criticized, but I still look back on it with a clear conscience. I acted on biblical principles then and could not now or ever do otherwise.

In a recent blog article I wrote,

"Believers sometimes experience very great darkness. And in that darkness we are plagued, as the hymn writer put it, “with many a doubt… fightings and fears within, without.” But still we know we have a very great Saviour. Whatever we may be, we know that He is worthy. We sometimes listen to the accuser when we ought to listen to Jesus, we sometimes doubt where we ought to believe, but there is never a time when the name of Jesus is anything less than wonderful to our ears, and never a time when we are separated from His love."

I am living that dark night now, but the Lord is faithful and He is worthy. I am thankful for the opportunity to spend a season working with my hands and I look forward to restored health and the opportunity to again pastor the Lord's people.