'Fortunately, Malchus didn't have Obamacare, so he was well treated for his injury right away.'

In the Uk modern day Malchus would have phoned for an ambulance and told to 'hold', then that the service was too busy. He would have waited for a bus (public transport) that didn't turn up. A good samaritan would have eventually helped him to hospital after asking for £50 to cover the petrol, where after several hours of waiting his ear would have been lost by the over worked Ugandan none english speaking nurse and probably turned up in a bacon sandwhich for another patient's breakfast. Not before he contacted some flesh eating bug in his one good ear and offered NHS plastuc surgery