Psalms 69:4 ESV More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies. What I did not steal must I now restore?
Psalms 109:2-5 ESV For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. (3) They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. (4) In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. (5) So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.
I maintain that at the root of an abuser’s hatred for his/her Christian spouse is hatred for Christ. One of the most confusing things about domestic abuse – hating one’s own flesh – is, “why?” What is the reason he hates her so? What is the motive for all this evil?
We know that domestic abuse occurs in marriages where neither spouse is a Christian, but when the victim is a believer I can assure you that one of the main reasons for the abuser’s hatred and cruelty is that he hates Christ. This is one of the chief reasons the Bible tells the believer to only marry “in the Lord.” Of course that is tricky because there are so many counterfeit wolves in wool.
Much pre-marriage “Christian” counseling addresses this issue of a Christian marrying a Christian. For all these years that I have been a pastor, I have done my best to only officiate at weddings where both bride and groom know the Lord. I haven’t always succeeded in this because, as I said, the human heart is so deceitful. But one of the reasons that we need to point out to people considering marriage is, if you are a Christian and you marry an unsaved person, it is the nature of the fallen, sinful human heart to hate Christ and all that belong to Him. Usually the counselees are told something like, “well, you both need to be Christians or you won’t be able to share real intimacy in your relationship with one another.” And that is true. But we need to point out something that will hit them with a more powerful, attention-getting punch – an unsaved husband or wife will hate the Christian.
John 15:18-21 ESV “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. (19) If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. (20) Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. (21) But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me.
Scott Allen Johnson wrote the first book that I ever read about abusers (domestic and/or sexual). It opened my eyes to what had been happening to me as a pastor for over 20 years at the hands of power and control seekers, spiritual abusers, all of...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
Micah 2:1-2 Woe to those who devise wickedness and work evil on their beds! When the morning dawns, they perform it, because it is in the power of their hand. (2) They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them away; they oppress a...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
We have now published my latest book and it is available on Amazon. Here is an Amazon affiliate link* to the paperback version. It is 351 pages. A Kindle version* is also available. Here is the description I put on Amazon: A very popular...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible (Eph 5:11-13) Jesus exposed evil. The...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
1 Corinthians 2:11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. I have written on this subject before but it has happened to...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
John 21:1-11 After this Jesus revealed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, and he revealed himself in this way. (2) Simon Peter, Thomas (called the Twin), Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
2 Timothy 4:14-15 Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. (15) Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. The Apostle Paul was wise about evil. Notice that in this warning...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
I have been asked this question several times and I thought it would be good to post here what I tell people who ask it. We want to obey the Lord. If He calls us to a difficult post, we are willing to go. But we also want to be wise with His...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
Romans 8:16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, I know what it feels like. To have someone come up to you and tell you how much your abuser has changed for the good. After years of evil treatment at his...[ abbreviated | read entire ]