The husband and wife have a unique calling under the instruction of God. We can eliminate problems and give Him glory, if we treat each other His way. Even when the husband is wrong, the wife submits. Likewise, the husband loves the wife, honors her, and cherishes her as God’s daughter and his equal.

First, this is a high calling, and it is not easy. vs1

“Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives”

When the husband is wrong, then the wife is to be quiet and win him over with her conduct - not her words, but her behavior!

So often, we try to strong arm results, like the preacher who uses human tactics instead of God’s grace: he tries to make people believe by force, rather than by the Holy Spirit. We must learn that this is not the way and submit to God.

If the women will hear this counsel, then it will help them, help their families, and help their husbands. God will use her submission to strengthen believing husbands, tame the rebellious, and even convert the sinful.

I’m reminded of the true story told by George Mueller:

A woman had a godless drunk for a husband. He would party into the late night and come home so drunk that he could not undress himself.

One night, he told his friends, “My wife is so godly that if I brought all of you home at this late hour, she’d arise from bed, make us a meal, and not offer a word of complaint.” They didn’t believe him, so they went.

She accordingly arose from sleep and prepared a meal for him and the guests. Then, before eating, one by one, they acknowledged the WICKEDNESS of the man - that he had a godly and good wife, yet he drank with them nightly. They left to show their disgust.

Soon after, he began to seek the Lord and found Him! The wife’s character changed her husband, and this is a high calling for godly women.

Secondly, there is another beauty: it is not in how women look. vs3-4

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.”

True beauty is rare because we value the physical more than the spiritual. God’s grace, however, enables us to see like God.

True beauty is a meek and quiet spirit; it is not weakness, cowardice, or empty headedness; it doesn’t discount the wisdom of the woman but exalts it, as she uses God’s methods!

She wants to be beautiful, so she doesn’t fixate on her outward appearance. Esther was beautiful, but it was her desire to please the king that won him over [Esther 2]. Sarah was beautiful, but her submission is commended and was part of her power. Neither woman lost out because of submission, but they beautified themselves to the maximum.

Physical beauty, without this inward disposition, is like a jewel in a swine's snout: it is still a pig [Prov 11:22]!

Thirdly, this is what it means: You put your hope in God. vs5

“For this is how the holy women of the past adorned themselves. They put their hope in God and were submissive to their husbands,”

The woman is submissive because of the Lord, not her husband. In her wisdom, she knows that God rules his heart, and she turns him by turning to the Lord. She wants the best for her family, so she uses submission to bring blessings upon her home.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” [Prov 14:1]

The family has peace because of her conduct. She uses God’s weapon.

If we look only at the man, he may appear stubborn and ignorant. He may be wrong and disobey the word, but she is winning by submission. She’s saying, “Lord, You help me,” and He will.

Often we think, “Who will take care of me if I don’t lie, cheat, and strong arm? Who will provide for me if I don’t do it myself?” This is a false notion and completely wrong. As we trust the Lord, He fulfills His word, and we get the maximum benefit of abundant life. He never lets us down! He’d never say, “Submit to Me,” and then turn His back to our obedience.

Fourthly, don’t be afraid, dear sisters! vs6

“Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. And you are her children if you do what is right and refuse to give way to fear.”

It may seem tough...even impossible… to walk this way. You feel naked and exposed, like, “Who will steer our home, if I don’t intervene, when I know that I’m right.” Don’t fear getting trampled on and abused.

Yes, marry wisely. Choose a man you can submit to because he follows God. Before marriage, be sure that God speaks to him, and he has a tender conscience. Find a man who fears God and values prayer and communion - a man that deals honestly about his faults and listens to his Maker.

Yet, do not fear, even if you’ve married a reprobate! God has given you the way to go, and He is your shield. It is not your wisdom, your words, and your ability to MAKE YOURSELF HEARD that you are relying on. You rely on the grace that saves sinners, the power that rules the world, the wisdom that’s infinite, and the love that’s incomprehensible. You rely on God the Savior.

Fifthly, the husband is told that he cannot pray, if he doesn’t treat the wife with honor. vs7

“Husbands do likewise, dwelling with them according to knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, with the female, rendering honor as joint-heirs also of the grace of life, so as for your prayers not to be hindered.”

Let men hear this clearly: There’s no fellowship with God, if we abuse our wives.

If we come and say, “Father, make me better to my wife,” then He will hear us. If we disregard her, then we disregard His commandment, and He won’t allow us to pray and practice sin. Fellowship will be destroyed, communion stifled, and our souls will feel the impact of unbelief, disobedience, and bitterness.

Esteem your wife as a weaker vessel that you are to take care of - one that’s been commanded into submission. Don’t disregard her submission, but honor her and rule for her good. Do not be hard and bitter because she disobeys, but show the love of Christ, so she can be corrected. Deal patiently with her. Be a model husband to make her life easier.

Men of God are honored by how they treat their wives. We don’t need to fawn over them in public, perhaps, but we do need to treat them as equals to be cared for - as God’s daughters!